


Smoke and Ash

by AngelicAnimal



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29448777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicAnimal/pseuds/AngelicAnimal
Summary: Hope struggles with her emotions after the tragic loss of Landon
Relationships: Landon Kirby/Hope Mikaelson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after 3x04 and inspired by my latest tweet about Hope waiting for all the candles to die down..  
> Dedicated to Fer and Lea--who asked for pain-- and to Pia and Vit, for always being eager to read whatever I write, no matter how painful.

* * *

Shadows danced across Hope’s face, stretching out her features, filling the void in her eyes with smoke and flames, flickering along her lips as tenderly as Landon’s thumb had been only hours earlier. 

The red fabric still clung to her body, dried sweat, and a waterfall of dusty tears being the only indication that Landon had once been real, had once been there with her, her head against his heart, her cheek against his flesh, his lips on her head.

Each candle that still flickered only served as reminders of a love that made her soar through the clouds earlier, like she was flying, eventually to become the only source of light against the darkness that brewed, his frosty breath numbing her bare skin, fraying the edges of her memories.

Her body shivered uncontrollably, her lips parting as she willed the cold into her. Because she wanted to forget. Because she wanted to withdraw. 

Because once those flames were gone-- once those died-- well, that was it.

The moment was nothing more than a memory behind her eyelids, a thousand phantom kisses on her lips, a ghosted whisper of his touch tickling her naked skin as she melted into him, giving herself over to happiness for once in her life.

For choosing herself. 

For choosing him. 

For choosing love. 

As long as the flames survived, he did too. 

But she couldn’t stop the wax from dripping, nor the candles from wilting as the heat grew, smoking out her despair, every drip that splattered to the ground screaming her agony.

His laugh remained within these walls, his breathless gasp as her fingers explored him intimately, for the first time, for what would be the last time, for one uninterrupted second of pure bliss, echoed through the flames. 

The milkshake, now melted, still perched atop the stone bench, crying sweet peanut buttery tears, dripping onto the cold concrete as surely as her tears soaked the fabric beneath her. 

She stretched out a shaky hand, her fingers curling into the hem of Landon’s discarded shirt, and pulled it against her nose, inhaling his scent. Every breath was a large talon of pain, slicing craters into her already fragile heart, her sputtering breaths aching her lungs until she had nothing left inside of her to give.

Was she being punished?

Was it something she did? 

If she hadn’t pushed him to go through the portal, would this have happened? 

Was it her fault?

Hope had so many thoughts screeching through her head that she couldn’t think straight anymore. 

How was she supposed to survive this? Why did this happen?

She pulled his shirt over her head, settling into the soft fabric like a new set of skin, every inch of it brushing against her as tenderly as he did. 

She closed her eyes as flashes of Landon seared her memories, the way he felt against her, the way his voice softly whispered that he loved her, the way his lips traced the curves of her shoulders, up her neck, across her jaw. 

Every memory brought new grief, ripping her apart from the inside, reminding her of his absence, his scent fading as the smoke rose. 

She wanted to give herself over to the demons, offering her body, mind and soul with no resistance, the fight as vacant as the color in her eyes.

Everything had been stripped from her, and she no longer needed the bright blues, or the soft greens, his eyes-- the red- his lips-- the world was grey, and white-- and bright orange as it all melted away. 

No, she couldn’t leave this place. 

Not while he was still here. Not while the fire burned, or the flames flickered. Not while the candles dripped, no. 

She would stay here until everything was cold, and dark, and unbearable. 

Where the outside could match her insides. 

Where the blades of despair could slice through her heart and no longer hurt, because she was already too numb to care.

She was happy. 

And it was gone. 

Ripped from her. 

Taken away-- broken-- blood and tears--one and the same, gone-- breathless-- dead--

Hope’s will flickered away like those candles, until finally, she too, was nothing but smoke and ash.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I guess I found that I had a little bit more to say after all.  
> Enjoy 😊

Hope slept for what felt like years, but looking at the clock in the darkness of Landon’s room, it had really only been two hours. 

By the time the candles had died out, and the crypt became cold, she had pulled on Landon’s pants, and bunched up the remainders of their clothes, before slowly making her way back to the school. 

Her heart ached more than it ever had, and the only place she could even think about going was his room, his bed.. 

Not even a warm shower could entice her, because she wanted to feel the numbness in her bones. The soothing chill was a beloved friend, reminding her of what she had lost once again. 

The comfort she seeked couldn't come from hot water, because she was afraid to wash it all away. 

His kisses, his touches, they were all she had left, and the only imprint of those were shadowed against her very skin.

She pulled one of his sweaters out of his drawer, hugging it tightly in her arms before curling up under his blankets, and barricading herself in his scent. 

She allowed the tears to fall once again, hoping they would lull her into some sort of sleep, her breath rattling with unease as she desperately tried.  But his smile was imprinted on her eyelids, as thickly as his touch still graced her body, and she couldn’t shut out the world, or the agony.  Not even for a second. 

Eventually, she threw the blankets off her aching body, the fabric scratching against her skin like knives, deepening her scars, feeling bloody and bruised before burying her face into his pillow and screaming until her voice was raw. 

She had to do something. She refused to fully believe he was actually gone. 

The world wouldn’t do this to her again. NOT AGAIN. 

She still had the remnants of her astral projection spell in her room, but the thought of leaving Landon’s stuff behind, even for a second, was like digging into the still fresh wound of his loss, and only made the breath in her lungs ache even more. 

She pulled his sweater over her head, drawing the fabric over her nose and inhaling deeply as she softly tiptoed across the wood floor, and numbingly made her way to her room to gather the supplies. 

She was thankful for the silence that carried so heavily throughout the hallways, because she wasn’t sure she would be able to hold it together should anyone ask her if she was ok-- or worse, where Landon was. 

Once safely back in Landon’s room, she let out the breath she held in, and focused on what needed to be done. Having this project helped dull the agony just enough for her to be able to perform the spell, her one and only desire being to find Landon. 

The spell itself was easy for her, but she couldn’t help the way her hands trembled, or the way her voice quivered as the words rolled from her tongue. 

She allowed her mind to open up to him, to re-stitch their souls together with the jagged threads of fate that kept unravelling on them. She wasn’t going to let him go. Not without a fight. Destiny be damned.

A breeze lifted her hair from her shoulders, and a whimper of her name brought the light into her heart. She felt him. His life force. The thread that connected them was stronger than she thought, and she knew--SHE KNEW-- that he wasn’t gone.. That he was just lost.. And she was going to find him. She was going to bring him home. 

When Hope reopened her eyes, she was back in the crypt, the dark chill scraping along her skin almost instantly, shivering her down to the bone. 

There were no remains of broken, wilted candles, no destitute souls of what had been baiting her emotions, no melted waxy kisses pressed against the cold ground, but only silence, and pitch black. 

Nothing but old bones and carved letters, and colorful stained glass windows that mocked her with their cruelty.

Nothing here reminded her of where she used to be. Of where she lost Landon.

But that told her that she was where she was supposed to be, and that she wasn't alone. 

As dark and desolate as it was, her heart still thumped with the beat of a thousand drums, telling her, willing her to look, to really see through the shadows and broken moonlight. 

Because there, tucked in a corner, with his head rested between his knees, was Landon. 

He looked unwell. His hair was plastered to the back of his neck, and his hands were clutched tightly to his chest, which rose and fell with jagged sharp breaths.

His body was covered in the red robe they had used as a blanket, and his feet were bare and bloody. 

Hope called to him, running to his side, but his head didn't lift. His beautiful green eyes didn't look into hers, his fingers didn't curl around her cheek as he pulled her in for a kiss. 

He just remained. Not moving. Not doing anything but sucking in short gasps, his lungs crackling as though his heart shattered just a little more with each breath in. 

Hope wanted to touch him, to breath her very air into his lungs, if only to revive that spark inside of him. But astral projection didn't work that way, and all she could do was fall to her knees in front of him, and trace a whispered touch along his head, hoping that somehow he would feel her. 

As her fingers brushed the dark curls along his ear, she thought of how only hours earlier, this very touch caused him to pull her even tighter to his body. His kiss deepened, and the heat ignited within her own body. 

Even now, without even touching him, she could practically hear her heart pounding through the silence, thrumming like the strings of a guitar, like Landon was singing to her again. 

But ghosted kisses left her lips cold, and her fingers numb, and nothing she could do in this moment would light the flame in his eyes. 

She lowered her head, dropping her eyes to the small space between his knees, noticing the ridge of his nose peeking out softly as his tongue kept shooting out to lick along his lips, every shuttered breath a dance within those small movements. 

"Landon" she said again, not expecting a response but falling forward when his shoulders sagged even lower, as though her voice had been a weight pressing into him. 

"Landon" she said again, more emphasis and love this time, willing their connection to soak through, and his head rolled up, showing off his bloodshot eyes and wilted expression as he looked right through her. 

She had a clearer look at his hands now, and grasped tightly in one fist was her necklace. 

His fingers were raw and bloody, like he had to scratch his way out of a grave, and it was only then that she realized the pit they jumped in was empty. 

He must have tried coming back, only to find each time that it was impossible, until finally he pulled himself into the corner, and allowed the grief to overtake him. 

The necklace was all he had left of her, and he had refused to let it go. Some part of him hoping she would find him again, but knowing the consequences of that result. 

Still, he had a small piece of her, and she hoped it would be enough to keep him holding on.

Hope could feel herself getting pulled away, the spell having been too long, and the bits of her subconscious wanting to shut down against the pain, her body tugging back to her own reality, back to Landon's room. 

She closed her eyes as the world darkened and Landon once again disappeared in front of her. 

Her eyes shot open, tears soaking her cheeks, but her mind made up after what she had seen. 

She knew where Landon was, and she was going to bring him back home. 

Nothing and no one was going to stand in her way. 


End file.
